


Heaven and Earth

by Suzie_b



Category: Tokyo Babylon
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content, Triggers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-20 13:06:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2429906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suzie_b/pseuds/Suzie_b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Subaru attempts to goad Seishirou into completing the terms of the bet, but finds out not everything is as he thought it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elfen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfen/gifts).



> PLEASE NOTE: Despite the title, X/1999 is disregarded in this story. Also, please be aware that this first installment is a translation from the last TB manga. Since that was where I wanted to start this story, I wanted the reader to be able to go directly into reading without having to hunt down the material. 
> 
> Since Tokyo Babylon is a rather old manga, I've updated some of the tech. There won't be many faxes and there will be use of smartphones/email.
> 
> In this story, there are a few of Japanese-isms/words that I use. Nee-san as well as -san and-chan just because nothing else really sounded right in my head. Sorry purists. 
> 
> Finally: THANK YOU Elfen for the read-throughs, beta, and assurances that I'm not driving you batty! <3

Subaru watched the blood flow slowly from the cut on his hand through the haze of tears that had yet to fall. He could still barely feel it, though the doctors had assured his grandmother that there was some chance that the damage wasn't permanent. It was like so many other things in his life now. The bones had healed, but the parts that made him feel didn't work right anymore. 

Even the memories that had prompted him to punch the mirror on the closet door were broken. Subaru could call them up as if they were really happening now, not in the life that he'd lost nearly 3 years ago. In the life that had gone with his sister

The memory was simple. Hokuto helping him with the tie he'd always had difficulty with. The truth was that if she'd let him take his gloves off he might have been able to get it but, as with in everything else, his sister had been determined to help him. He supposed he should be thankful.

"Thank you, sister," Subaru's humorless chuckle became an equally humorous laugh until it dissolved back into tears before he walked away from the broken glass to find a bandage for his hand. He'd only make a mess anyway. It wasn't really enough to kill him. _Unfortunately..._

Once his hand was sufficiently bandaged he returned to clean up the glass. The mirror was bonded to the door, leaving little of it to fall to the floor and once it was cleared he walked to the living room to settle in the chair his sister had often sat in while reading her magazines.

The entire place was so quiet and still that the very act of striking the lighter to light his cigarette- something his sister would have had fits over and his grandmother disapproved of- seemed to echo off the walls. Then again, Hokuto's personality usually was enough to fill the entire room and when it didn't, there was always... "Seishirou." That humorless laugh rang back at him from the walls. 

There really was no reason for him to have come back to this place, but Subaru had insisted and there really was no one who could tell him no anymore. He'd been offered a different apartment after his grandmother's begging hadn't changed his mind about leaving. The truth was that there was no way he could lure Seishirou to him with so many Sumeragi around and he didn't really want to be away from the reminders. As angry as he was that Hokuto had left him when all he'd needed was time, he couldn't let go of the reminders of her life. He couldn't get rid of the feeling that she SHOULD be there instead of him. 

Subaru took a long drag from the cigarette in his hand and focused on the view through the window trying to still his thoughts. Even that was difficult now. He'd always had the background noise of his sister's presence and he found the silence distracting. _But I have to. I have to if I'm going to get him to come finish this. ...because if I have to keep living this way I'm going to slip away again._

Subaru shook his head and crushed the cigarette out before standing to grab his jacket. The weather was getting cold, but it was the thought that Hokuto would have had a fit that reminded him to take measures to fend it off. Habit made him remember to put on his shoes and grab the keys before leaving. The door locked on its own.

The wind had picked up and the sound of dry leaves in the trees mixed with the sound of those that had fallen skittering over the ground. He had always loved the colors of Autumn but he had no interest in them now. He was intent on reaching the playground that was his current destination. He had been asked to investigate strange accidents in the public housing district, but there were stories of a child's spirit being seen in the area. As alone as he felt at the age of 19, he could imagine what the earthbound spirit of a child would feel.

It didn't take long to reach his destination, though most of the children were being called by their parents to go home for their evening meal. Even that energy couldn't dispel the feeling of an intense energy that felt less spiritual and more like a force of human will. Subaru tried to focus on it, only to be distracted by a crying baby being pushed in a pram by an unhappy looking mother.

Yet more feelings crept in. Despairing parents, disappointed children, and people angry about their lot in life nearly brought Subaru to his knees. Subaru took out a cigarette and went to lean against a tree and wait for darkness to fall. It would have to be easier then.

By the time Subaru was able to relax again the crowds had moved to the walkways toward the various apartment buildings and he tried to focus. Unfortunately all he could think about was the way that woman had been looking at the baby he had to assume was her own. He'd seen even the poorest parents look on their children with love, it was strange that her gaze had held so much anger.

Then there was that feeling again. It was familiar and strange at the same time and Subaru had to close his eyes against the memories it brought back- the feel of Seishirou twisting his arm enough to dislocate the elbow and shatter his forearm accompanied by the power coming from him that had nothing to do with the use of spells. By the time he recovered he'd crushed the cigarette in his hand and his heart was pounding.

Subaru drew in a long, trembling breath before pushing away from the tree. He would have to walk, making sure to hang back from the crowds, in order to find the source of that feeling. Otherwise he would never get this job done. Nearly as soon as his feet hit the sidewalk the ground underneath began to tremble and he in the direction that it seemed to originate only to lose it once again.

"Let's play!" A small voice preceded a tug at Subaru's sleeve and he looked down to see a little girl smiling up at him and repeating the invitation.

"But I have to.." Subaru started only to have his hand tugged in the direction of the playground.

"Let's play! Let's play on the swing!" The girl insisted and, in the absence of anything else happening around the building he'd been looking at, Subaru gave in.

" ...why did you bring me here?" Subaru knew that the spirit had a reason, and if he could find out he could at least accomplish _something._

"Because I thought you could hear it," the girl answered and pointed toward the building he'd gone to earlier. "Look."

Subaru looked in the direction she was pointing but saw nothing. "What..."

"Look again!" The girl insisted.

This time Subaru saw an explosion of energy that shattered the windows outward and had caught the attention of a small crowd of people. What caught his attention, however, was the faintest hint of a human voice that had gone along with that blast.

"Didn't you hear it?" The girl asked.

"Who are you?" Subaru asked as he stood to view the damage.

"I knew that you heard it!" the girl exclaimed as she hopped down from her swing and began to run away. "So please help!"

"Wait! ...help who?" Subaru's question was more of an afterthought because the girl was gone. "Great. Help. So it's someone..."

Subaru sat back on the swing and pulled out the ofuda he'd need to cast an amplification. If it was human, he'd have to find one amongst the hundreds in the area without getting lost. Once it was done he closed his eyes and concentrated. _It's a small voice. ...a child? No. Smaller... But where?_

Using the quiet afforded him at the moment, Subaru summoned a shikigami and sent it into the air. "Find," he instructed and took off at a run after the bird.

The bird led him into the building and through its halls- pausing only to let the woman he'd spotted earlier by- to a door where Subaru nearly skidded to a halt. _It's coming from here..._

Subaru entertained the idea of knocking on the door to speak to the woman who had passed them but put that thought aside in favor of calling in a request for information. By the time he reached the playground again, the email was there and he sat on a swing to light a cigarette and read.

The man and her husband that occupied the apartment seemed like any other young couple. The man worked for a finance company and was out of town on business. The woman seemed ordinary enough aside from her having become a relative recluse since her husband's absence. Subaru had the suspicion that the husband was off on more than business.

"Cigarettes are bad for you. Mommy said."

Subaru nearly dropped the cigarette from his mouth but captured it in time. He looked in the direction of the voice and saw the girl from earlier standing on the swing beside him. "You..."

"Please help that child, he's always crying. You can hear him, can't you? The sound of his cries?" As the girl spoke the concrete supporting an elevated walkway cracked and a shower of pebbles rained down. "Please! He's hurting! Help him!"

When Subaru looked over the girl had dropped to her knees with her hands over her ears and he soon understood why. The sound was horrible, though he was certain the cry wasn't audible. He wasted no time in running into the building to the apartment door and pressing on the buzzer as if that alone could make the door open. The force of those silent cries nearly made him collapse and he finally understood what he was feeling. _A baby... it's a baby!_ Lacking any other way to gain entry, he turned to a simple spoken incantation.

Once the door was open Subaru saw the reason for the silence of those cries. A baby lay on the floor wrapped in a blanket with the end of yet another blanket shoved into his mouth. Beside him, his mother knelt on the floor repeatedly slapping him in the face.

"STOP! STOP IT!" As he yelled, Subaru rushed forward, using his shoulder to push the woman out of the way in order to scoop the baby into his arms. "Why? Why would you do this?!" He tugged the blanket from the child's mouth, trying to sooth him with muttered words.

"This baby is mine. He's part of me, that's why." The woman's voice sounded dazed as she continued. "So I punish myself by hitting myself. What's wrong with that?" She glanced up at a picture of a man and woman and began to cry. "Why? Why won't you come back? I've been repenting all this time. I've been beating myself. You like that woman better?"

Suddenly, Subaru felt saner than he had in his life. "He's not you. You're not the same person. You're separate people, you can't repent by hitting him!" Not that he thought his words had any impact. "Don't worry, little one. I heard you. I'll get help and you'll be alright." Oddly, his words seemed to calm the boy and he stood to make his way out of the apartment in order to call for the authorities. "Hopefully your mom will get some help too." 

Once the authorities had come and gone, Subaru returned to the playground and sat on the swing, watching smoke waft away from the cigarette in his hand. He half expected to not see the little girl's spirit again now that her concern had been gotten out of the way.

"Thank you for saving that baby," the child's voice announced before she could be seen standing on the swing beside Subaru.

"You knew, didn't you? That the baby was being abused like that?" Subaru's question wasn't much of one, he already knew the answer but if he could give this spirit a little rest then he'd feel better about going home.

The girl nodded and her expression became sorrowful. "I could hear his cries. His mouth was covered but I could hear the cries of his soul. Why was the mother hitting her baby?"

"Her husband left her for another woman. He went somewhere far away but he left his wife and their baby. She was telling everyone that he was away on business but..." Subaru shrugged.

"Why did that mean she had to beat her baby?" The girl jumped from her swing to stand on the edging of the walkway as Subaru got up to head for the park's exit.

"I think that to her, the baby was another image of herself.. An alter-ego that she had given birth. So she thought that if she punished her baby she might be forgiven and her husband might come back to her. That's what the doctor said." Subaru was careful to keep his voice neutral. He understood WHY the woman had done it, but it still angered and saddened him.

"But that baby isn't that woman! He's just himself!" The girl clenched her fists at her chest.

"That's true. I told her that. To tell you the truth, it took me a long time to learn to separate myself from other people, so I can't judge too harshly."

"Is the baby alright?" The question was obviously the girl's primary concern.

"Yes. He's in the hospital now. All of that damage happened because of that baby. His mouth was always covered while he was being beaten. So his muffled cries turned into power which he used to call for help from the outside world." Subaru stopped to look at the girl. "And the reason you were able to hear that baby's voice was that you suffered in the same way and you died, didn't you?"

Tears began to spill from the child's eyes and she nodded. "Mommy killed me. Daddy died and he owed a lot of money and mommy told me "You're the most important thing I have. I can't leave you alone" but... I'm not my mommy, I'm me. The newspaper called it a family suicide but I didn't want to die that way. Mommy killed me. I didn't want mommy to choose if I lived or died. I wanted to make my own choice. But Mommy was lonely... that's why she killed me. I think maybe that lady was lonely too." The wind picked up and the spirit lifted from the ground, her form becoming more transparent. "Maybe all the people who do bad things are just really lonely." She smiled down at Subaru. "I knew you'd be able to hear that baby's voice. I could tell that you had pain inside the deepest part of your heart, just like me. The wind is getting kind of strong now, I have to go."

"Wait!" Subaru looked up at the spirit. "The place where you live now... is my sister there?"

"I dunno, what's she look like?" The girl waited for an answer to her question.

"Like... like me. She's just like me." Subaru hadn't expected those words to hurt as much and he didn't have time to hide it.

"Then she's not here. There's no one here with such lonely eyes.."

As soon as the answer was given the spirit was gone and Subaru began the walk toward home. _People who do bad things are lonely? I hope not. I don't think I'd wish this even on him._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise confrontation.

Subaru woke with a start, remnants of his dream fading away along with the echoes of the thunder that had roused him. He glanced briefly at the clock only to discover a blank display and he forced himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. The only sound in the room was the rain pelting against the window. 

_I suppose I should just get up,_ Subaru told himself, though it took several minutes for the rest of him to follow that decision. By the time he stood to walk into the living room, the wind had picked up and he could hear it howling despite the insulation that kept most of the outside noise from reaching the interior. 

Subaru passed by the slippers still keeping their vigil by his bedroom door. They were covered in dust and belonged to a boy that didn't live here anymore. Old habit made him touch the door across from his own and he stopped just long enough to whisper "Good morning, nee-san." Saying her name aloud was still too hard. 

With a brief stop to open the curtains to reveal the glass doors that accessed the balcony, Subaru settled in the chair to light a cigarette. He didn't even have to glance around the room to see the changes that had happened despite his refusal to make any of his own. The plants that had filled the room were long dead, the pillows on the couch had begun to fade, and the curtains were now years out of date. Sometimes it made him feel like a ghost haunting the place. 

It was easier, Subaru found, to fix his gaze on the window. The more attention he paid the rain hitting the window, the less his mind wandered into the past. Between that diversion and the act of smoking, he should have been able to simply stop the thoughts that ran through his mind of their own accord, but that concentration was shattered by the sound of a thump against the glass and the brief glimpse of brown feathers illuminated by lightning. 

The cigarette was left to burn itself down in the ashtray ( _Hadn't his sister bought that for Seishirou to use?_ ) as Subaru walked over to pull open one of the balcony doors. Raindrops hit him like miniature hands slapping at his face but whatever had made the noise was gone. _I'm seeing things now. ...it was probably rubbish being blown by the wind._ It had to be. The only person associated with what he'd seen had forgotten him a lifetime ago.

"So careless now, Subaru-kun?" There was no mistaking the voice or the laughter that followed. "What _would_ your sister say?" 

Subaru couldn't shake off the grip of fear that clenched in his chest as he pressed his back against the frame of the door any more than he could the instinctive search for the door's grip. Part of his mind insisted that he was mixing memory and reality again. It happened so often now that the possibility couldn't be dismissed. "She can't say anything. She's gone." 

"Is she? I wonder..." Not that Seishirou seemed ready to offer an explanation. "I saw your work earlier. I have to say I was a little surprised at how grown-up you've become. Remember how often you were mistaken for a girl?" He laughed as if they were merely having a pleasant conversation. "That probably doesn't happen now. ...but you probably wouldn't notice. I don't think you notice anyone unless they make you," he pointed out in a pleased tone. "But here you are, up in the middle of the night after so much exertion. You should be resting. Now tell me why you look so surprised." 

"I... I didn't think you remembered me." Subaru tried to keep the sadness from his voice, though he knew it was there on his face. "I waited. I thought you would finish it in the hospital but you never came."

"Of course I remember you, Subaru-kun. I never forget my prey." Seishirou's smile was as friendly as it had ever been. "For now, though, I think you need some rest. How am I supposed to play with you if you're too tired to flee?" 

Before Subaru could say anything, Seishirou brought his hand up to Subaru's eyes and uttered one more word. "Sleep." 

Darkness surrounded Subaru and he felt himself begin to fall only to be cushioned before he could hit the floor. He still felt the cold, still felt the rain that had soaked him evaporating from his skin, but it didn't really matter. All that mattered was the dream that was becoming his reality as he drifted away from consciousness. 

_The wind blew through the trees, sending pink petals scattering into the air and along the ground. Not that he cared about those. Instead, his gaze locked on to a figure that, at one time, had looked exactly like him._

_"Sei-chan's a sucker for a theme, isn't he? That guy really needs to learn to change with the times. Everyone likes flowers, but it's nearly Fall! And look at you! All that work and you still don't have any fashion sense at all, do you?" Hokuto- or the image of her his mind had conjured up- held her hands behind her back and looked up at the sky and the full moon that hung there. "And neither of you have the heart to make it daytime." She paused and glanced over at Subaru with a bright smile. "At least it might be a good sign. You always were the moon, but Sei-chan was always the sun. Wow, that sounds like a bad pop song, doesn't it? But it's true. He's always been the one who dealt with the living while my poor brother had to deal with the dead. It's not really fair, except for the part where you never had to kill anyone. SUBARU." She stomped her foot. "Say something."_

_For a moment, Subaru could almost believe that his sister was there. He could almost feel the energy that had filled all the days of his childhood and anchored him when he'd needed it. "Why? There's nothing to say."_

_Hokuto stamped her foot again and the frustration became evident on her face. "Ooooh you men!" She looked down at her brother sadly. "Subaru, I'm sorry. I couldn't let you die. You always put everyone ahead of yourself, and I wanted you to want for yourself so much that, just for once, you wouldn't sacrifice your own happiness..."_

_"So you sacrificed it for me instead. I wish it really were you. I know how much you tried to teach me we were separate people, but I think you were the only reason I could live and not get lost." Subaru shook his head. "But you're not and the boy you would be looking for even if you were is gone. ...and I hope he doesn't come back. He never really deserved to live in the first place."_

_Hokuto shook her head. "That's not what I wanted to do. Oh think about it, Subaru. I didn't want him to hurt you but if Sei-chan **REALLY** wanted you dead, he would have just done it! He needs you as much as you need him!" She started to say something else, but the wind picked up and carried whatever she was saying away with it._

Subaru opened his eyes, squinting against the light that was now shining through his window. Hadn't he gotten up while it was still dark? A glance toward the window revealed damp leaves adhered to the wet glass. _It must have been a dream..._

Sitting up revealed an ache that went through Subaru's arm and then echoed itself dully in his chest. There was a reminding voice in his head that suggested he should turn on the heat, but he shrugged it off as he lit a cigarette and stood to walk toward the kitchen. Making tea would warm him enough for the ache to go away. 

"It would seem that I was right. You did need more sleep. Isn't that right, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou stood in the kitchen, pouring tea into a cup as he spoke. "And smoking. Really, what would your sister say? Are you even old enough?" He seemed to pause to think it over. "How old _are_ you now, Subaru-kun?" 

Subaru watched Seishirou talk, barely registering his words until the question of his age was asked. "You should know better than to count the age of the dead, Seishirou-san." The tone of his voice remained as flat as he could manage and, as soon as it was given, he began to walk toward the the balcony to look out at the sky. 

"I do know better, Subaru-kun. It's a shame you don't seem to. Now, come sit and have your tea and we can talk abou--" Seishirou started only to be interrupted by a pair of glaring green eyes now leveled at him. 

"That's not how this works! You don't get to come in here and act as if nothing has happened! If you'd finished what you started, H..." Subaru's mouth closed and he shook his head. "If you had killed me my sister would still be alive. ... you didn't have to kill her. She didn't have to be part of your game." His voice quieted as he turned to look through the balcony doors. "You couldn't even wait out the year. You should probably go now. I have things to do and I should do them, unless you're here to keep your word." 

Seishirou reached out to take the cigarette from Subaru's hand as if it were his own. "Oh, but I did have to kill her, Subaru-kun. She asked me and how often was I ever able to tell Hokuto-chan no?" His free hand was brought to rest on Subaru's shoulder and he urged him toward the nearby chair. "Now, we both know you have a job to do today and you really don't eat enough to keep yourself going. Not that I'm surprised, you never were much for cooking." 

Subaru shrugged the hand from his shoulder, but sat without argument. "So that's your explanation..." He rested his head back and closed his eyes. "That's not what.." 

"Not what you wanted. You want me to kill you, isn't that it? You really are cute. Anyone else would be relieved to have encountered me the way you did and to have lived through it. I think you've misunderstood what it means to be my prey, Subaru-kun." Seishirou didn't wait for a reply, and appeared to have put the matter to rest as he retrieved tea and food from the small kitchen to place on the small table beside Subaru's chair. "And now you should eat something."

"What are you doing? And what do you mean I misunderstood?" Subaru held up one hand to reveal the faintly glowing star shape. "Maybe you're the one who misunderstands." He stood, keeping his gaze on the path leading to his room. "When you told me about what you were, I didn't care about your killing. I just didn't want anyone to suffer. When my sister kept repeating what you were, I could have made you leave. I've had people killed in front of me. It's not as if it's a shock that it happens. What I don't understand is why you had to do all of that to me, yet you killed my sister so quickly. ...and now you refuse to finish what you started." He sighed. "It doesn't matter. I suppose you're right. You dropped me, broke me, and now you can walk away. So why are you here?" 

Without waiting for an answer, Subaru made for his room. "I've got work to do."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A challenge is made.

By the time Subaru had showered and dressed, Seishirou was gone. _It's probably for the best. If I talked to him for too long he'd just get his way again. I'm only going to get my wish if I can keep him off balance or angry with me._ That was the thought that he focused on as he made his way to the train station. 

The job would take him to the outskirts of Kyoto, and Subaru thought of visiting his grandmother before dismissing the idea altogether. There really was no reason to upset her further and she was always upset when a visit ended. She may have done a few things that he had lived to regret, but he couldn't hold that against her. 

The trip was quiet, though a few passengers had come and gone along the way. The bulk of the strangers had been averted by Subaru's general lack of attention to them, while the rest had given up after a complete failure at eye contact. Reaching his destination was more of a relief than he'd expected despite the steady fall of rain and the fact that all of Kyoto seemed to be trapped under a layer of clouds. 

Subaru knew the path to his destination well. It led through the temple where he'd performed his first ceremony and, as he reached rows of Jizo statues, he could almost picture it in his mind. His sister had explained that it might give the family- an important family, as he found out much later- comfort to see someone so young perform the Mizuko kuyō, but he wondered how comforting it would be to see a child when they had lost one of their own before they could even get to know them. 

Not that Subaru doubted that funerals for the stillborn did some good for the families. He'd just never felt or seen a spirit during them. _Maybe it's the same as loosing your parents before you're old enough to remember them. It's easier to leave them behind if they're not as real to you._

The grey stone of the path finally became more modern pavement that lasted until Subaru turned to knock on the door of the house he'd been called to. It only took a few seconds for the woman to answer, let him in and explain the situation, wringing her hands all the while. 

"It's my son. He's locked himself in his room and won't come out. He's been like this ever since his sister died. They were always close. She walked him to school every morning to keep him from being hurt on the road. ..but they always drive so fast and he always has his mind on other things.." The woman began to cry as she led the way to the boy's room. "She pushed him out of the way of a car and was hit. She died three months ago and it's been like this ever since." She pushed on the door, trying to get it to open. "There is no lock, but the door won't open. My son is the only person able to go in or out, and he often refuses to eat or go to school. So you see, you must help him!" 

Subaru had to admit that it was momentarily tempting to tell the woman to ask if her son wanted the help. If her son was happy, then who was she to decide what should be done? "I'll do what I can," he finally answered before reaching out to touch the sliding door. "You should wait downstairs. This will be upsetting to watch. 

Once the mother had retreated, Subaru placed his palm on the door. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to intrude," he warned before exerting just enough power to slide the door aside so that he could squeeze through. He removed his coat and folded it to leave it by the door. The wet garment would only be a distraction. 

There was a definite feel of presence in the room, but it was protective rather than malicious, so Subaru ignored both it and the brother as he set about readying the room for sealing once the spirit was gone. "I really am sorry about this," he apologized to both as he began to prepare,"but you're making your mother worry."

With the last of the preparation done, Subaru positioned himself between the boy and his sister's spirit. "She wants to protect you. She loves you very much and she doesn't realize the harm she's doing." With that,he began the chant that would remove the binds that the spirit used to keep itself bound to this place.

"No!" The yell came from the boy as he began to realize what was happening. "You can't take her! I won't let you!" He began to pound his fists against Subaru's back making soft thumping sounds as his blows landed. "Stoppit!" 

Not that being hit in the back was enough to draw Subaru's attention away from the work at hand. He continued, ignoring the fact that the percussion made his voice tremble in time with the thudding on his back. It wasn't until the final bonds were broken and the spirit had begun to disappear, that he felt pain slice through his shoulder. 

_"Hideki!"_ The spirit's voice was barely more than a sound carried on the wind, but it was enough to make the boy cease his attack. _"He's right. I have to go so that you can live for both of us. You can do that, right? Keep yourself safe, go to school, and stop making mamma cry."_

Behind him, Subaru heard something metallic hit the floor. He reached up to touch his shoulder to find it wet with blood. _I suppose that's what I get for disregarding his determination._  


Once his feet hit the stone walkway, Subaru removed his coat. The blood on his black shirt would be invisible once it was rain soaked, but his coat would be a dead giveaway. The last thing he wanted was too much attention on the way home. 

Subaru stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes and taking time to settle his thoughts into the silence he'd need to silence the part of his mind that insisted the shoulder hurt. Once it was done he realized how completely quiet it was. Even the birds, which had been calling to each other from the safety of the roofs and crevices of the temple buildings on either side of the path, had fallen silent. 

_Well, do I have your attention now?_ There was just the slightest hint of satisfaction to the thought as Subaru extended his awareness outward. Birds, leftover emotions, the rain, and the cold all fell away as he centered on Seishirou's familiar presence. _Have I angered you?_ Subaru reached into his pocket without looking up. He pulled out the ofuda that would condense the energy around him before forcing it to become dormant, and spoke the syllable that would activate it before letting it go. 

Overhead, drops of rain stopped their descent and gravitated toward each-other before traveling toward the ground to explode into small pink petals upon impact. By the time the thin paper had settled on the ground, those petals had formed a pentagram that glowed briefly and then became inert. "No more illusions," Subaru informed without looking up. "You don't get to have it that easy anymore."

Subaru started to walk toward the train station. _Now we do this my way._ Even as he thought it, he felt a hint of guilt. Years ago, in another life, he would never have thought of treating Seishirou in this manner. 

"My my! Subaru-kun has grown up so much!" Seishirou fell into step as if he'd only just been catching up. "I almost expected you to be too polite to shut down my little spell. Ah, but it was bound to happen. Even then you were starting to leave that innocent boy behind." He reached down to take hold of Subaru's wrist to hold up his gloved hand. "I see some things haven't changed."

"Stop sounding so nostalgic. Do you miss the cups in your cupboard?" It took a great deal of concentration for Subaru to keep that careless tone as he pulled his arm away. ""Or are you so bored that my making the train interests you?" 

"Ah, you've become so heartless!" Seishirou's tone was almost convincing in its disappointment. "Are you going to make your train, Subaru-kun? I, of all people, know blood when I see it."

"I'm not bleeding that badly. It should take me an hour or so to pass out. I'll be home by then." Subaru didn't allow himself to think that logic through. His intention was to have it stitched after he got home only because he wanted to not be where he was.

"No matter how you change you're always Subaru-kun, thinking of others before he does himself. Your sister would be--" 

The ofuda on the ground trembled and the pentagram that it had held inert dispersed as Subaru's hands clenched into fists. "But she's not," he answered in a low voice that wavered despite his efforts to keep it under control. "So either do something or leave so that I can go home." 

Seishirou made a tsking sound and stepped away to face Subaru. "No time for pleasant conversation? I suppose that's to be expected. Very well then..." An illusion much more powerful and solid than the last enveloped the path and the rain turned to small pink petals blowing in the wind around them. Within seconds, the entire landscape had changed and they were standing within touching distance of the tree they belonged to. "Better?" 

"Close." Subaru stepped back to allow a flurry of shikigami to pass on their way toward Seishirou, though he clearly directed them to avoid taking advantage of the man's blind side. _All I need to do is distract him..._

Seishirou chuckled and destroyed the shikigami in an instant only to counter attack by sending a blast of air carrying hundreds of sakura petals that stung at the skin. 

Subaru flung himself aside, landing with his back to the tree, prodding pain out of old wounds, and putting unwanted pressure on the new. In one instant it all became clear. His sister had cast a spell. That was her reason for seeking Seishirou out. There was a flash of old memory that probably belonged to the tree itself, but before he could figure out what his sister's death and the image of a woman's death in the same manner had to do with each other, consciousness began to fade. 

The first thing Subaru became aware of was a comfortable warmth infusing his body, keeping him from wanting to move. The second thing to creep in was that he wasn't laying on the ground and that the pillow under his cheek smelled familiar. 

There were other discoveries, like the fact that he couldn't feel the pain in his shoulder because he couldn't feel his shoulder, that caused Subaru to push down a moment of panic. In that moment, one more thing became perfectly clear: wherever he was and whoever had put him there, had taken away his clothes.

"Awake? I really expected you to be up hours ago. You should take better care of yourself, Subaru-kun." Seishirou sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hand over Subaru's hair. "You're going to have to lie there at least for a little while longer. Your clothes were a mess and I had to send out for a new shirt." He paused and then reached out to tap at Subaru's injured shoulder. "And you have stitches." 

Subaru wanted to immediately jump out of the bed, but discomfort and the lack of clothing kept him still. "Stitches? ...you?" 

"Of course it was me. I _am_ a vet, you know. I didn't lie about that." Seishirou actually sounded a little offended. "You can roll over, just don't strain yourself. I also have food for you. This going for days on end without eating business is weakening you so much that you're barely a challenge to find anymore." 

"I'm not a puppy," Subaru pointed out, unable to keep the indignity from his voice. "I didn't realize I lived to amuse you." He managed to turn over without losing the covers, but still couldn't resist the urge to pull them up to cover his chest. 

"Oh, I don't know. You're cute enough, but I think that's where the similarity ends." Seishirou watched Subaru for a few silent seconds and then grinned. "You're blushing, Subaru-kun. Don't worry, I'll have pajamas for you soon enough. Then I'll see you home tomorrow." 

"Tomorrow..." A glance around the room revealed darkened windows and furnishings that appeared to have been only somewhat updated by the addition of the bed and side tables. "I'm..."

"In my home. In my bed, if you're wondering. I didn't have time to get another room ready and this estate hasn't seen guests in quite a while. I didn't think you'd want me to put you in my mother's old room." Seishirou picked up a glass and held it out for Subaru to take. "Now-" 

Subaru's eyes went wide and he glance between the cup and the face of the man holding it. "Your mother. That's who she was! That woman... you killed her and she said something..." He took the glass absently while keeping his eyes trained on his still gloved hands. "It was the most wonderful thing to be killed by the person you love. ...and that's what's going to happen to you." He paused. "I guess you've proved that one wrong..." 

Seishirou frowned, finally losing the pleasant expression he'd been wearing. "That's very insightful, Subaru-kun. Now have your water." 

Subaru shook his head, waving the order off as he frowned in concentration. "But then..." He tried to train his face into neutrality as he finally looked up. _My sister didn't come to him because she thought she could fool the tree. She was casting a spell that only she could cast. Because we had the same blood, just like we had the same heartbeat._ He finally took a drink of water and then set the glass aside. "You owe me two and a half months. You're obligated by the bet, too." He knew he was gambling, but if he could be close enough to Seishirou to figure out exactly what his sister had done as well as goad the man into action, it would be worth it. _I'm going to find out what you did. ...why I can't find you, Nee-san..._

"Trying to iron out your plan, Subaru-kun? Having killed my mother is no deep, dark secret. I wonder... how is it that you saw that, hmm?" Finally, Seishirou's smile returned and he laughed. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. It's not something that's going to help you, but then I don't think you're trying to win, are you? Very well. You've gotten your way. Now you need to eat so that you can regain your strength. I should be back by the time you're done," he assured before bending to place a kiss on Subaru's forehead. "No getting out of bed." 

Subaru watched Seishirou walk away, waiting until he was out of the room to reach for another pillow as he pushed himself into more of a sitting position. Curiosity led him to lift it to inhale the scent and he closed his eyes as he settled the pillow onto his lap again. _I really hope I have the strength to do this._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living arrangements are made.

Subaru drifted unwillingly toward consciousness. He was comfortable and there was a source of warmth that he attempted to snuggle into, as if that would keep him from waking up. Whatever the source of warmth was, it exuded a floral scent mingled with smoke and something else that nagged at his mind until he reluctantly opened his eyes. 

At some point, Seishirou had returned and had merely gotten into bed without waking him. This would have been fine, Subaru reasoned, if both of them were wearing a little more. As it was, Seishirou merely wore a pair of boxers while Subaru himself was still without clothing. 

The worst part was that the first thought in Subaru's mind was that he was completely unsurprised that Seishirou would choose boxers. It seemed only secondary that he was now completely draped against the man's side and warm enough to make him think twice about moving. 

There were other problems to think about. If he DID move, he risked waking Seishirou, who had an arm curled about his waist to make matters worse. If he DIDN'T move, Seishirou would _still_ find out and have the fact that Subaru hadn't moved to add to the teasing that the assassin relied on to keep conversations going the way he wanted them. 

_Either way, it doesn't matter._ Subaru sighed and rested his head against Seishirou's shoulder again. The truth was that he didn't **want** to move and one glance up at the other man's face took away the last of his willpower. 

With none of those well practiced expressions, Seishirou looked like any other man. _No, not like any ordinary person... He still looks like a hunter, still beautiful, he just doesn't look like he's playing a part._ Subaru sighed and closed his eyes again. _Is it okay for me to stay here like this, with the man who killed you? Would you be angry with me or cheer, Nee-san? No... Hokuto-chan._

As he drifted back off to sleep, Subaru wondered if it would always hurt to merely say his sister's name in thought. Not, he told himself, that it would matter. Two and a half months was what he had.

The next time Subaru woke the sun was up. He still felt that wonderful warmth that he'd felt earlier as well as the faint touch of fingertips sliding over his back. Within seconds a blush spread over his cheeks. He wasn't the only one awake. 

"I thought I would have to convince you to stay in bed," Seishirou informed. "Or at least ply you with pajamas. You really are just full of surprises, Subaru-kun." He chuckled as he reached out to brush Subaru's bangs away from his face. "Now, what's making you blush so much? The lack of clothes or being here?" 

"You were supposed to bring me something to wear, remember?" Subaru knew he was avoiding answering, he just hoped that Seishirou let him get away with it. The truth was that it was probably both. "So I got cold." 

Seishirou laughed, breaking the quiet of the room with its volume. "You really have grown up, Subaru-kun. I nearly expected to find you fully dressed and hiding in the closet when I woke up." He seemed to think the situation over for a moment, fingers still caressing Subaru's back. "Now that I think about it, perhaps you should just stay here. After all, two and a half months living in old memories doesn't seem like a pleasant situation." 

Subaru propped himself enough to look at Seishirou's face with wide eyes. "What?" The shock was enough to make him forget his embarrassment, though it wasn't quite enough to make his still red cheeks forget. "H-here?" 

"Oh Subaru-kun, you really are cute. Are you so shocked? You don't live in an apartment anymore, it's a tomb. I may be a killer but even I have limits." Seishirou's tone remained amused. "We are keeping that part out in the open, aren't we?" 

Subaru frowned, unable to keep the indignation from his face even as he nodded. "We are. In fact... There's no need to pretend anything. There's no one who needs to be protected from the truth anymore." As he thought over the suggested living situation, he made a brief attempt at moving enough to reclaim his lost personal space. "Here. Like this?" 

Seishirou put an end to Subaru's movement by pressing his hand against the young man's back. "Like this. Are you sure you don't need to be protected from the truth anymore, Subaru-kun? I could hide a few, if you wanted." 

"I don't want any more lies. Maybe I'll ask for one before this is all over, but not now." He thought it over for a second and nearly smiled. "Like this with maybe a little more clothing." He couldn't help the blush that rose into his cheeks again. 

"Oh really? I don't know, I kind of like this. You could stand to gain a little weight, but you've always been cutest when you're blushing." Seishirou appeared genuinely amused as he lifted Subaru's hand by the wrist. "These should come off before bed. It's really strange, you know? You're not wearing anything else." 

"I'm not the one who undressed me!" Subaru could feel the heat rising in his face and he was certain his ears were starting to warm as well. Still, he took the gloves off without further argument. "Speaking of clothes, I do have work to do today." 

"You work nearly every day," Seishirou pointed out as he captured Subaru's hand to place a kiss on the palm. "At this rate I'll be undressing you every evening. Now turn over so that I can replace the bandage with something waterproof so you can shower." 

Subaru heard a sound that he hadn't made since he was a teenager as he rolled over to bury his face into the pillow. It was somewhere between a squeak of surprise and a groan of complete embarrassment. He felt Seishirou shift on the bed, trapping Subaru under him as he leaned forward to remove the tape that had secured the gauze on his wound."It's not that bad..." 

"It required stitches, Subaru-kun. It is that bad," Seishirou corrected before going about the business of cleaning and re-bandaging the wound. "It's going to be sore today." 

"I've had worse," Subaru reminded quietly, trying to push aside the memories that started to rise to the surface of his thoughts. He didn't need that now. He needed to keep himself focused and he was failing at that miserably. 

"I suppose that's true," Seishirou replied, sounding almost remorseful. "Well, it's done. You still shouldn't try to move your arm too much or put too much stress on the shoulder." He moved to hold a hand out to the younger man with a mischievous smile. "Come on, I'll help you shower."

Subaru faltered in the process of getting up, thankfully muffling a repeat of that sound. _Damnit, he can still do it._ Once he did manage to sit up he shook his head. "I can manage it. ...ah.... once I have a robe or something." A glance around the bed revealed nothing of the sort and he sighed. "I have to go to my apartment to pick up some things." 

This time Seishirou's laugh was more genuine, humor glinting in his mismatched eyes as he reached out to lend Subaru a hand. "We're going to be living here. Sooner or later I'm **going** to see you naked." He paused. "While you're aware of it. Trust me, you don't have a reason to hide. I'm hardly going to pounce on you." Yet more silence that gave time for a wicked grin to curve the assassin's mouth. "Until you're healed. Now let me help you to the shower, Subaru-kun." 

Subaru stood, taking the sheet with him as he made for the bathroom. "I have to get used to it first," he explained indignantly and headed through the door without looking back, completely ignoring yet another bout of laughter. 

There had been some discussion about where Subaru was going and what his job was. Once it was established that the job was a formal ceremony, Seishirou announced that he'd be doing the driving. 

"While we're at here you can pack some of your things to bring home with you," Seishirou suggested as they pulled into the parking area. "I'll wait for you while you work. I don't have anything else I'm doing today." 

Subaru hesitated as he reached to open his door. "It's a ceremony for train platform. I'm afraid it's not going to be very exciting." 

"Subaru, when you show up for a job there's always the chance that something exciting is going to happen." Seishirou sounded genuinely amused as they made their way from the car to the elevator. 

"Not every time." Subaru spoke no more on the matter until they were safely within his apartment. "I only have a couple of boxes. My grandmother was certain I would need them to move. I don't think she had this in mind, but..." 

"So what is this job you have to do?" Seishirou asked as he followed Subaru into his room. "Does that phone have a cord?" He pointed to where the phone lay on the floor. "And a tape answering machine?" 

"I didn't see a reason to change it," Subaru answered flatly as he pushed the button to hear the messages left. Fortunately, they were the usual: A call from his grandmother, more requests for his presence at a variety of locations, but the final call made him stop as he reached into his closet. This caller conveyed information about the day's ceremony and that they would have to wait for a clean up crew to finish clearing up a suicide scene before it could begin.

"That's not exciting at all," Seishirou's tone dripped sarcasm as he located the boxes. "So what is this job?" 

Subaru let out a sigh as he pulled the hanger holding the plastic draped shikifuku that he rarely wore these days. "It's for a train platform that's become popular with those committing suicide. There is a program to install new lights that they say help but the workers keep being run off the job by accidents." He placed the garment on the bed to unzip the bag. "Of course no one believes that it's more than coincidence. This is just to make the workers feel better." 

"Of course it is. I think I'd like to watch this ceremony." The grin on Seishirou's face gave away the fact that he wasn't really asking for permission. "After all, I don't usually take public transportation unless I'm following you." 

Subaru nearly dropped the garment he'd been lifting from its bag as he stared at Seishirou. "You... follow me?" 

Seishirou laughed. "Of course I do," he answered as he started pulling clothes from the closet to place in the box at his feet. "You're surprised? Shouldn't you be changing?"

Subaru rested his forehead against the bathroom door as soon as he closed it and let out a long sigh. It would be so easy, he told himself, to fall into old patterns. Letting Seishirou dictate his reactions would be fine to a certain extent- he had to let the man think he held all the cards for now- but it made his sister's absence even more pronounced. There were silences where her laughter should have been. _Your laugh... I really miss the sound of your laugh._

It took time to change and the shikifuku seemed to weigh more than it should, as if it were pulling his shoulders down in an effort to bring Subaru with it. By the time he had finished dressing and had rejoined Seishirou, the assassin was droping the last item of clothing into the box at his feet. "That was fast." 

"You don't have a lot to choose from," Seishirou pointed out in a disapproving tone. "Really, you should..." The assassin's sentence broke off as his mouth curved into a leering grin. "Didn't that call say that your appointment would be delayed?" 

"It was, but if I get there early I'll have time to find out what's really going on. They never really tell me the entire story in cases like this," Subaru answered before glancing up at Seishirou as he leaned in to pull the bag that contained everything else he'd need. "What...?" 

Seishirou reached out to take the bag's strap from Subaru's hand to lift it to his own shoulder. "Oh, nothing. That's just a very nostalgic look, don't you think?" The assassin's lips curved into another smile that gave way to a chuckle. "Ah, but you're still so innocent, aren't you? Even then, you were always unaware of how many looks you drew. Well then, shall we go? We can pick the rest up on the way home." Without waiting for an answer, he reached out to pull Subaru against him for a kiss, paying only enough attention to the younger man's hand pushing against his chest to trap it there.

Subaru tried to get away, had even thumped a fist against Seishirou's chest before flatting his hand out to push himself away from the man until he realized that was exactly what he was expected to do. _He wants to keep me running... He wants me to try to get away so he can catch me. I hope you'll forgive me. Then again, if you were here you might have cheered..._

Giving up the struggle was easier than Subaru had expected and by the time his back was pressed into the wall and the gloved fingers of his free hand sliding through Seishirou's hair he'd nearly forgotten that it was all intended to unbalance the man. It wasn't until his mouth was released that he managed to speak. "W-we should go. The job, remember? If you carry the bag I'll bring the boxes. ...we won't need to stop by again."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 Preview

The job had been more difficult than even Subaru expected. Five people had jumped from the platform within the last month, and the amount of trouble their presence caused had been greatly understated. By the time the area had been cleansed and those spirits were sent on, it was well into the afternoon. 

Some of it still bothered Subaru. One man in particular had insisted that he just wanted to go home and live with his family. _But that's not how it works. We can't have the dead back and the dead can't have their lives back. No matter how much we wish otherwise, we can't turn back time and reverse death._

Those thoughts filled Subaru's head the entire drive home, and were still nagging at him as he sat on the edge of Seishirou's bed looking through one of the boxes of clothes. The situation SHOULD have felt more strange. 

"Subaru-kun, you've folded that shirt twice," Seishirou pointed out before taking the garment away. "Did it trouble you so much? They wanted to die. Having regret afterward is pointless."

"It troubled me. They didn't think of their regrets, or the people they were going to leave behind, before it was too late. They went thinking 'if I die, everyone will be happier and better off' and afterward only thought of what they wanted and what they missed." Subaru pulled another shirt from the box and folded it onto the bed. "Maybe I'm just tired." 

"Killing yourself is a selfish thing. Is it so surprising that those who do it would remain selfish?" Seishirou pulled a smaller box from the larger and handed it over. "Here, put these in the bedside drawer, then you I'll help you change so you can rest." 

Subaru had been about to say something, but his mouth closed without a word exiting as he glanced at Seishirou. He felt his cheeks warming again. _He's looking at me that way to put me off balance again. I wish it would stop working._ "Ah..." He started, after finally finding his voice. "I can manage." 

Seishirou laughed and removed the remainder of the clothes from the box to place into drawers. "You can barely manage to fold a shirt, Subaru-kun. Very well, I'll respect your modesty for now, but you need to sleep." 

Subaru used the act of opening the smaller box to avoid looking directly at the other man again. "My gloves?" As surprised as he was that Seishirou had bothered to bring them, he didn't waste time in putting them into the drawer. 

"We both know that they do no good in keeping me from finding you, but I've noticed how much it bothers you to touch anything with your bare hands." Seishirou walked over to tap the back of one of Subaru's gloved hands. "Except where you can't feel much at all." 

Subaru pulled his hand away, rubbing the back of it without looking up. "I've just worn them for so long..." 

Seishirou chuckled. "You'll get used to it. Just take them off at night." Without waiting for a reply, he reached up to cover Subaru's eyes with one hand. "Now sleep," he ordered before catching the younger man mid-fall, and placing him on the bed. 

If he weren't all too happy to have an excuse to not think, Subaru might have resisted. As it was, he found the enveloping darkness welcome and even comforting as he felt himself settled into bed. 

For a while, Subaru's sleep was deep and dreamless. The darkness finally gave way to the feel of cold ground and gnarled roots under him, while the air was filled the scent of cherry blossoms. He heard a sound that he took for the wind through the leaves of a tree at first. 

_Open your eyes, Sumeragi._

The wind became a whisper and Subaru opened his eyes to gaze at the pink petals falling down toward his face. Heaving a sigh, he stood and looked at the broad expanse of the sakura's trunk. "You know, I used to actually sleep when he did that before, but now-" The complaint was interrupted as the earth at the tree's base heaved as the roots that dug into it shifted and began to pull apart, leaving a darkened arch. 

"When he did it before, you were too innocent to resist. I think I like you better this way," a voice echoed from within the darkness. 

Subaru didn't have time to hide the shock in his expression as he stepped back from the darkness that seemed to pull at the shikifuku he still wore, even in this dream. 

A chuckle echoed from beneath the tree, the deep tone seeming to vibrate through the ground itself. "Don't worry, Sumeragi. I'm not here to lure you in," the voice assured as one bone white hand emerged to wrap itself about one twisted root. The figure that followed was so pale that it nearly glowed in the moonlight, its long white hair unbound and catching at the wind. The robes could have been a mirror of the ones Subaru wore, but the black fabric and red trim couldn't have been more different. As terrible as the figure was, it was just as beautiful. 

"Who..." Subaru nearly stepped back again but forced himself to stand his ground. "The tree. You're what's inside the tree, aren't you?" 

The spirit laughed again and walked to stand before Subaru and look into his eyes. "Well, at least we can't call you slow in matters of magic and spirit." The creature reached out to touch Subaru's cheek and smiled, giving it a more friendly look despite the red eyes. "A very long time ago, I gave up my life to save our families." Those fingers closed around Subaru's chin and the spirit's expression became angry. "And here you are trying to undo it all, you foolish boy." 

Subaru's eyes went wide, but he didn't try to back away this time. There was no way he could defeat this thing. It might have been human once, but it was far from that now, having plenty of time to gain power through generations of sacrifice. "I..." 

"Oh of course you don't mean to. It's not entirely your fault; your sister nearly ruined everything with her own sacrifice, but at least that stubborn assassin of mine can't do anything stupid now." The spirit let go of Subaru's face and smoothed a hand over his hair. "You don't need to be frightened of me. I'm not here to eat you." It sighed and looked a little regretful. "Not that it wouldn't be wonderful, innocent as you are, it would be a very nice change. I brought you here to make a deal with you." 

Suddenly all of those Western tales Subaru had heard about deals with the devil came to mind, but he wasn't foolish enough to think of the tree as evil. It merely _was_. He also wasn't foolish enough to agree immediately. "What kind of deal?" 

The spirit laughed again as it stood before Subaru and look into his eyes "Now you show caution?" A kinder look was given as it spoke. "Very well. As I said, I sacrificed my life and sealed myself within this tree to save our families. I no more want to suffer eternity without my guardian than you wish to suffer a lifetime without yours." With a brush of its thumb, the creature brought the mark on Subaru's hand to life. "I cannot give your twin back to you because I don't have her. I can help you find her and give her the freedom she deserves, if you will help me undo a wrong that was done to my beloved guardian." 

Subaru couldn't help the immediate distrust he felt, but found himself nodding despite it. "I'll do it, but I don't know what I'm looking for. You'll have to give me something to work with." He toyed with the idea of asking for more information about the tree's spirit, but settled on just one question. "Do you have a name?" 

The spirit laughed, this time the sound was less ominous. "Oh Sumeragi... I haven't had a name in so many lifetimes that it's hard to recall. You're the first that has ever asked such questions of me: Do they suffer? Do you have a name? Even he found it startling that you didn't react with disgust and fear the moment you knew." The creature shook its head and appeared briefly mournful. "I remember the day I died, the people I died for, but my name... I can't give you that. Why don't I give you another answer in its place? I know the spell your sister cast." 

It seemed to Subaru that he was going to wear that shocked appearance every time the tree spoke. "You do? You were watching?" Not that he was about to ask the tree why it didn't intervene. 

"If it makes a difference to you, I tried to stop him. He can be very stubborn and prideful." The spirit looked genuinely sad as it spoke. "But he wouldn't listen and your sister's spell was cast. Seishirou cannot kill you in the manner that he would want to. If he does it will be reflected onto him. So be careful, little Sumeragi. Your wish would destroy both of you." 

The answer hit Subaru like a kick to the gut, leaving him speechless. His knees felt weak and, without anything to steady himself against, he staggered. "...Hokuto-chan..." 

The spirit's arms went about Subaru, surrounding him in the scent that he'd come to associate with Seishirou without the smell of smoke mixed in. "Sacrifices are always hardest on those left behind," it assured. "But our time is short and I must give you all that I know. Within that place where my guardians live is a darkness that is guarded by a spell even I can't peer through. It is iron and cold and filled with pain. When my guardian kills, I numb their heart and soul to protect them, but they have hidden his soul away from me. Find this place and undo it and all the answers you have longed for will be unlocked." 

Subaru felt lips brush his forehead before the tree's spirit stepped away from him, and briefly wondered at their unexpected warmth before he looked up again. "That's not a lot to go on," he informed, this time without much complaint. "I'll try." 

The spirit smiled as it turned to return to the darkness it had emerged from. "That is all you can do," it agreed and then turned to look back with a fond smile. "...little Subaru... I will answer your very first question. The body that first made these petals pink was mine and because you exist, I do not suffer. If you succeed, then I won't feel sorrow anymore." 

Subaru watched as the spirit disappeared through the arched opening in the ground. The wind picked up, obscuring his vision with hundreds of pink petals that enveloped him until he drifted into darkness again.


	6. This is a placeholder.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to dive back into writing this within the next couple of weeks! My life got incredibly busy and I ended up moving to the other side of the US. It's taken a long time to feel like I'm finally settled in!

I promise there'll be more here soon!


End file.
